He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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