I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i came on her dog
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
