I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
