I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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