I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
