Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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