He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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