he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
