9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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