3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
