The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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