I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
