i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize