She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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