haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
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Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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