My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
