My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
