They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize