Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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