we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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