remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
