if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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