I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
You left your phone here
Wait...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
