can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
