After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize