Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Semen is not good for contacts.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize