is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
