i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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