I wish my penis had an off switch
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
