Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
