the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
