Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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