Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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