Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
one might say we're banned from that church
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
