Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
