So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
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she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
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Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.