Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I wanna go to beed woth a nboy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I wanna go to beed woth a nboy http://tfl.nu/x43t
  Replies (3) Good night (799) Bad night (1252)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  shit pants at work. discarded underwear.

  (1-530): View more from California

  just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?

  (530): View more from California

  yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): shit pants at work. discarded underwear. (1-530): just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now? (530): yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye. http://tfl.nu/oxzl
  Replies (44) Good night (1071) Bad night (5009)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium. http://tfl.nu/ptz9
  Replies (32) Good night (858) Bad night (5341)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list http://tfl.nu/ucvs
  Replies (40) Good night (1621) Bad night (14104)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word. http://tfl.nu/lmgd
  Replies (20) Good night (5869) Bad night (1321)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now. http://tfl.nu/yqbr
  Replies (10) Good night (3582) Bad night (1446)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks... http://tfl.nu/1g5k
  Replies (13) Good night (1209) Bad night (2536)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever. http://tfl.nu/w4kd
  Replies (7) Good night (2651) Bad night (1274)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library http://tfl.nu/areb
  Replies (5) Good night (2226) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  What a dumb baby whore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): What a dumb baby whore. http://tfl.nu/17ck
  Replies (4) Good night (1299) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon. http://tfl.nu/gqwa
  Replies (9) Good night (1090) Bad night (1382)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him" http://tfl.nu/pb7e
  Replies (9) Good night (1389) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch" http://tfl.nu/gqk6
  Replies (3) Good night (1247) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle. http://tfl.nu/wmdi
  Replies (11) Good night (992) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin http://tfl.nu/u60j
  Replies (5) Good night (823) Bad night (350)

Randomize