Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.

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  (215): I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me. http://tfl.nu/0b6p
  Replies (6) Good night (3284) Bad night (1180)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.

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  (412): It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult. http://tfl.nu/japr
  Replies (9) Good night (2030) Bad night (896)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  I miss high conversations.

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Swinging. Is. Amazing.

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  (270): I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high. (1-270): I miss high conversations. (270): Swinging. Is. Amazing. http://tfl.nu/qk9i
  Replies (5) Good night (2278) Bad night (1368)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis

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  (402): Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis http://tfl.nu/hhal
  Replies (12) Good night (698) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.

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  (970): I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone. http://tfl.nu/5jkg
  Replies (7) Good night (521) Bad night (1475)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You and the dog were competed for the water dish

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  (508): You and the dog were competed for the water dish http://tfl.nu/2x76
  Replies (2) Good night (450) Bad night (703)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...

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  (770): Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now... http://tfl.nu/knzm
  Replies (6) Good night (907) Bad night (349)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.

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  (720): I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it. http://tfl.nu/x8ch
  Replies (2) Good night (270) Bad night (1002)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me

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  (214): I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me http://tfl.nu/jsiz
  Replies (5) Good night (765) Bad night (362)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.

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  (503): You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure. http://tfl.nu/1pyv
  Replies (2) Good night (734) Bad night (304)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal

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  (540): I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal http://tfl.nu/b5ht
  Replies (1) Good night (525) Bad night (276)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level

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  (919): I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level http://tfl.nu/r2br
  Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (245)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed

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  (336): Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed http://tfl.nu/q8dx
  Replies (3) Good night (266) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK

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  (432): GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK http://tfl.nu/gkbk
  Replies (1) Good night (379) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it

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  (724): Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it http://tfl.nu/jbin
  Replies (3) Good night (503) Bad night (244)

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