I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.