Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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