I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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