I look better un-naked...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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