I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
