Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
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Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
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Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.