Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
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It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
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I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)