Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.