Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Do you remember last night at all? Be honest

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.

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  (703): Do you remember last night at all? Be honest (215): I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps. http://tfl.nu/7u3j
  Replies (11) Good night (3324) Bad night (676)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.

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  (512): After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game. http://tfl.nu/rksq
  Replies (8) Good night (3617) Bad night (1232)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.

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  (843): he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story. http://tfl.nu/p8b8
  Replies (14) Good night (5064) Bad night (1166)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.

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  (201): It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb. http://tfl.nu/thcm
  Replies (6) Good night (5531) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.

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  (512): Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today. http://tfl.nu/jvq8
  Replies (8) Good night (2028) Bad night (768)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.

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  (214): Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it. http://tfl.nu/1ffs
  Replies (11) Good night (2808) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.

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  (203): She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to. http://tfl.nu/ivcq
  Replies (7) Good night (2515) Bad night (911)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.

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  (615): Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight. http://tfl.nu/ami0
  Replies (22) Good night (4234) Bad night (1931)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.

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  (248): If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is. http://tfl.nu/p0ib
  Replies (15) Good night (2821) Bad night (1130)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I love you more than champagne and correct grammar

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  (304): I love you more than champagne and correct grammar http://tfl.nu/3165
  Replies (19) Good night (3998) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.

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  (914): We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo. http://tfl.nu/ouwj
  Replies (25) Good night (4461) Bad night (719)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail

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  (701): Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail http://tfl.nu/z3o8
  Replies (5) Good night (1090) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.

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  (506): Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second. http://tfl.nu/am2u
  Replies (1) Good night (1356) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (283): View more from Ohio

  $645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.

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  (283): $645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper. http://tfl.nu/b2q3
  Replies (6) Good night (544) Bad night (1268)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him

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  (443): I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him http://tfl.nu/mri0
  Replies (0) Good night (966) Bad night (454)

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