Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.

(415): View more from California

be there in 3 mins

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(408): carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit. (415): be there in 3 mins http://tfl.nu/00q0

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(440): View more from Ohio

yea ive hooked up with like half those guys

(1-440): View more from Ohio

and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag

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(440): yea ive hooked up with like half those guys (1-440): and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag http://tfl.nu/9hzs

Replies (33) Good night (6849) Bad night (1012)
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(440): View more from Ohio

do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?

(1-440): View more from Ohio

you should probably use water

(440): View more from Ohio

i dont have any

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(440): do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water? (1-440): you should probably use water (440): i dont have any http://tfl.nu/eak0

Replies (33) Good night (6089) Bad night (917)
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(660): View more from Missouri

And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.

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(660): And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this. http://tfl.nu/if6q

Replies (3) Good night (3166) Bad night (774)
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(563): View more from Iowa

Your favorite bartender is back from prision

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(563): Your favorite bartender is back from prision http://tfl.nu/uuje

Replies (12) Good night (6595) Bad night (927)
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(425): View more from Washington

she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great

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(425): she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great http://tfl.nu/nw44

Replies (26) Good night (1465) Bad night (4392)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games

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(630): Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games http://tfl.nu/dec3

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(916): View more from California

This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here

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(916): This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here http://tfl.nu/hb41

Replies (16) Good night (4966) Bad night (1205)
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(281): View more from Texas

I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.

(979): View more from Texas

I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.

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(281): I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me. (979): I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys. http://tfl.nu/btxr

Replies (23) Good night (5648) Bad night (1896)
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(312): View more from Illinois

This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.

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(312): This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/7nbz

Replies (28) Good night (5274) Bad night (2387)
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(718): View more from New York

you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes

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(718): you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes http://tfl.nu/46zk

Replies (9) Good night (769) Bad night (2811)
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(630): View more from Illinois

i think the doormans mad at me

(773): View more from Illinois

well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...

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(630): i think the doormans mad at me (773): well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while... http://tfl.nu/017x

Replies (12) Good night (1372) Bad night (2608)
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(229): View more from Georgia

Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters

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(229): Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters http://tfl.nu/mh2z

Replies (3) Good night (2547) Bad night (930)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.

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(860): I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS. http://tfl.nu/9u6p

Replies (9) Good night (1580) Bad night (744)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.

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(828): I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight. http://tfl.nu/6ztd

Replies (5) Good night (710) Bad night (378)

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