Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize
