I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just found a bag of teeth...
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!