bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
