LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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