turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
