So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
