he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
