were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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