Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
