Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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