Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
