You made me cry and you don't even care
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I need moral support for this bender
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
