my mouth tastes like poor choices
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
