Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
