I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
