very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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